anyway, on with the rant...!
i can't buy cigarettes with the picture of the heart operation cos it makes me want to slice open my elbow reeeally bad and poke about the yellow and white gutty wut bits (i'm pretty sure there's some yellow stuff inside elbows)
and i can't buy the one with the premature baby because it makes me dream about having a baby and then it dying (this has happened three times)
so i end up looking like a wanker on those ads where the people haughtily chose their disease (on the pack) and then at the end 'YOU CANT CHOSE WHICH DISEASE WILL ACTUALLY KILL YOU IF YOU SMOKE OMG DIE DIE DIE YOU WILL DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH IF YOU SMOKE' etc
i'm going into a crazy ward for teh craizziez and you aren't allowed to leave the ward. i have been heavily relying on smoking to quell my crayzee tendencies so this shall be gay as you can't smoke inside a hospital ward. i am going to suck up the hospitals nicotine patches tho, mmmm FREEEEEE! anyway im looking forward to quitting and being free
when i think of myself as a smoker i get a mental image of a big red X over me that i can't shake, smokers have Xs and non-smokers don't. I DO NOT WANT THIS X GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF! arg! i can't visualise it off me though, my brain won't let me and it bothers the CRAP out of me like why can't i just visualise the X off me?? WHY?? why can't i control my brain?? to get rid of the X i have to actually quit and make it truue :/
looking forward to being X free, hopefully this gay psych ward stay will be good for something.
oh yeah and when i come out i will be a little porky fatty :(
so far plans for my stay in ed ward go something like this:
-do lots of reading for uni
-sneak in vodka
-swap name places on food trays in dining room with other patients so nurses think i have eaten my food (becase they do check food trays, will swap with non-ed patients tho, i couldn't be that much of a bitch)
-throw snacks in bin (they don't check, i know this from last time)
and now here is two pictures of my cocker spaniel puppy ruby with her head in my ugg boot, cos it's cute :)
NO CUTS FOR YOU!